At bedtime, the 81-year-old woman said to her 83-year-old husband:
“Listen… I just looked out the window, and I think the garage light is on. Would you get up and turn it off?”
With great difficulty, the old man got out of bed, opened the door, and went outside. He saw five or six burglars tampering with the garage door. He immediately called the police station.
“Look… take down my address. It’s just my wife and me here, and five or six thieves are attacking my garage. Please send a police team quickly…”
The dispatcher replied, “We’ve noted your address. Don’t worry. No team is available right now. I’ll send someone as soon as I can get a team.”
Frustrated, the old man watched the burglars struggling with the garage locks. Two minutes later, he called the police station again:
“Listen… there’s no need to send anyone now. I’ve shot all five of them.”
The police station erupted in chaos. Within five minutes, a police team arrived in the street with a helicopter, paramedics, three doctors, and two ambulances. Soon, they had the criminals under control. Later, the team leader casually walked up to the old man and asked:
“You said you shot them, didn’t you?”
“And didn’t you say no team was available?”
A friend just shared this, and it’s too funny!
MONTANA STATE TROOPER
In many places in the U.S., when the temperature drops really low, they check on any cars stuck on the side of the road.
One very cold morning, at 3 AM, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon #658 got a call about a car off the road near Great Falls, Montana.
He found the car stuck in deep snow with the engine still running. After pulling up behind it with his lights flashing, the trooper walked up to the driver’s door and found an older man passed out in the driver’s seat with a nearly empty vodka bottle beside him.
The driver woke up when the trooper tapped on the window. Seeing the lights and the trooper next to his car, the man panicked and shifted into drive, hitting the gas.
The speedometer showed the car going 20, 30, 40, and then 50 MPH, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning. Trooper Nixon, with a good sense of humor, started running in place next to the car like he was keeping up.
The driver was freaked out, thinking the trooper was actually running 50 miles per hour. After about 30 seconds, the trooper yelled, “PULL OVER!”
The driver quickly turned the wheel and stopped the engine. Of course, the man from North Dakota was arrested, and I bet he’s still shaking his head over the trooper who could run 50 MPH.
Who says cops don’t have a sense of humor?
THANKSGIVING MEMORIES
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C’ya
“A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, ‘Excuse me, where are we?’
‘This is Heaven, sir,’ the man answered.
Would you happen to have some water?’ the man asked.
Of course, sir. Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought right up’.The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
‘Can my friend,’ gesturing toward his dog, ‘come in, too?’ the traveller asked.
‘I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.’
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
‘Excuse me!’ he called to the man. ‘Do you have any water?’
‘Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there, come on in..’
‘How about my friend here?’ the traveller gestured to the dog.
There should be a bowl by the pump.’
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
‘What do you call this place?’ the traveller asked.
This is Heaven,’ he answered.
‘Well, that’s confusing,’ the traveller said. ‘The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.’
‘Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That’s hell.’
‘Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?’
‘No, we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'” Dogs are family
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