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071824

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SAVE THIS EPIC PHOTO!

WHEN YOUR GRANDKIDS COME HOME WITH THIS EPIC PHOTO IN THEIR HISTORY BOOK, SHOW THEM YOUR EPIC PIC AND REMIND THEM THAT IN 2024 TRUMP SAVED THE REPUBLICAN PARTY FOR THEM! TELL THE YOU WERE THERE AND WATCHED IT LIVE ON TV!!!

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C76ZomfgvPc/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

https://x.com/i/status/1813357684038816136

https://www.instagram.com/p/C9Z9Z5ZpyO8/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet

Female Secret Service agents have caught a lot of backhanded remarks as the country has reacted to the recent shooting of Donald Trump. Some people even seem to think having Lady Secret Service agents might not be the best idea in every situation. That’s absolute hogwash!

We at the Babylon Bee understand the critical role female agents play in the Secret Service, so we’ve put together this listicle to help underline all of the special talents these ladies bring to the table:

They can hold up their little makeup mirror thingies to reflect the sun into the eyes of an assassin and blind him: He’ll never see it coming.
They have no qualms about recklessly running over curbs or pedestrians while driving the getaway car: They’ll do this during normal motorcades too, though, so it’s a bit of a double-edged sword.
They have experience changing diapers: (Biden security detail only)
They’ll always make sure that everyone is safe and that no one gets hurt by standing on a slightly inclined roof: Safety comes first!
They can do that cool move where the boy Secret Service agents lift them above their heads like cheerleaders to provide even more shielding to the president: Rah! Rah! Rah!
Their high heels double as sharp stabby weapons: We’ve seen this in the movies.
It’s very easy for the President to reach over their short bodies to shake hands with the crowd: So convenient!
They are extremely ferocious and deadly at about the same time each month: You’ll be well protected, as long as you remain on their good side.
You only need to pay them 78% of what a male Secret Service agent makes: Who says the government doesn’t care about saving money?
Their hair ties can double as a tourniquet in an emergency: As long as you can convince them to mess up their ponytails.
They’re great at kissing boo-boos: Nothing helps a bullet wound like a nice kiss to make it all better.
They are every bit as strong and capable as men: Netflix films have proven this once and for all.

Well, there you have it — maybe now you’ll think twice before criticizing the idea of female Secret Service agents. Do better, bigot!

U.S. — Former President has been indicted by a federal judge in Pennsylvania for inciting an assassination attempt that nearly killed him.

“Trump is clearly at fault for someone attempting to murder him with a rifle,” said Judge Paul Stephenson. “He brought this on himself, and we will ensure justice is done.”

According to sources, the motion to indict Trump was filed roughly thirty seconds after the failed assassination attempt. “It was obvious by that point that Trump had caused a man to fire several bullets at him,” said District Attorney Jan Marsh. “If Trump were not literally Hitler, no one would have tried to kill him in the first place. It’s time we in the legal system go after Hitler and not the people trying to murder Hitler.”

At publishing time, Trump had been indicted again for Secret Service shooting the would-be assassin.

Get a closer look inside and under the hood of NASCAR’s new electric vehicle prototype.
https://twitter.com/i/status/1809636651582280125

Editor’s Note: There is some text for this, will add when I find it.

Could Biden Win if He Replaced Kamala Harris with Her?

Ever since Joe Biden tanked in the debate with President Donald Trump, the Democrats have been trying to come up with an idea to salvage his campaign.
They’re throwing every idea at the wall to see if anything sticks. We’d love to hear your take on their latest idea:

Should Hillary Clinton replace Kamala Harris as Biden’s running mate?

VOTE NOW!

Take our national poll and let your patriotic voice be heard!

Just wanted to say hi to all my brothers…

04/10/1987 – SFPD Parking Control illegally parked in a bus stop & in front of a fire hydrant.

Circa 1910. Washington D.C. Policeman at PA and Indiana Avenues

1927 – San Francisco Cop explaining the new traffic signal.

circa 1912 Washington, D.C., 13 1/2 & D streets . “Police Call Box.” with a dark globe.
These were telephones with a direct line to the police, when a call went out, the red illuminated glob on top showed arriving officers where help was needed.