NOTICE! EARLY DISTRIBUTION TO SHOW OFF CLASSIFIED SECTION.nMusings is becoming a full service site now offering a “CLASSIFIED” section for members having items for sale. This was prompted by a member who had a Harley for sale and wanted to know if it was proper to include in Musings. (Remind me who you are, Harley Guy and send pic and info)
MANY THANX TO THOSE WHO HAVE CONTRIBUTED ARTICLES OR PICTURES IN THE PAST AND I ENCOURAGE YOU TO KEEP MUSINGS IN MIND WHEN FINDING SOMETHING OF INTEREST ON THE INTERNET THAT IS WORTH SHARING WITH FELLOW RETIREES.nNOT EVERY WEEK, OF COURSE, BUT THE OCCASIONAL ITEM THAT MAY BRING A CHUCKLE OR JUST TWEAK YOUR INTEREST. MANY OTHERS MAY SHARE THAT INTEREST.nAFTER ALL SOME MAY GET TIRED OF ALL MY DOGGO PICS! 🙂
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Hoping to hear from some of you:
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Some sad news tonight for SJPD, a young officer with less than a year on the department has been found dead. More to follow, foul play is not suspected.
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nRest In Peace Officer DeJon Packer #4940
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nA Tale of Two Cities:
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CHICAGO
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HOUSTON, TX
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Population
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2.7 million
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2.15 million
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Median Household Income
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$38,600
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Pretty similar until you compare the following:
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Concealed Carry – Legal
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No
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Yes
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Number of Gun Stores
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None
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184 Dedicated gun stores plus 1500 – legal places to buy guns–Wal-Mart, K-mart,nsporting goods, etc.
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Homicides, 2012
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1,806
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207
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Homicides per 100Kn
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384
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9.6
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Avg. January high temperature (F)n
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31
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63
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Conclusion:nCold weather causes murders.n
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nnThis is due to climate change.nn nn
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If My Body Was a Car!
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This is so true!
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If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull…
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But that’s not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it’s especially hard to see things up close.
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My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My white walls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here’s the worst of it.
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Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter,
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Either My Radiator Leaks orMy Exhaust Backfires!
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Getting Old – er
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Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
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I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do, it’s because I missed my exit.
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I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
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A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it,
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I love being 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.
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A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
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I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
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Just remember, once you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
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Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
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It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
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Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Me: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
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I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
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Coronacoaster: noun; the ups and downs of a pandemic. One day you’re loving your bubble, doing work outs, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like.
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I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.
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You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
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We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads.
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US Finally Tests The New Super A-10 Warthogn
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nGo ahead, just try to read this list without laughing at least once. I cannot verify if it’s true but is damn sure funny.
You teach? These are old but genuine answers from 16-year-old kids and for commodians we flush. Ask your students.
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nnQ. Name the four seasons.nA.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.nnQ. How is dew formed?nA.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.nnQ. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?nA.. If you are buying a house, they will insist that you are well endowed.nnQ. In a democratic society, how important are elections?nA.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.nnQ. What are steroids?nA. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)nnQ… What happens to your body as you age?nA.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.nnQ. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?nA.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (So true)nnQ. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.nA.. Premature death.nnQ. What is artificial insemination?nA.. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.nnQ. How can you delay milk turning sour?nA.. Keep it in the cow.(Simple, but brilliant)nnQ. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)?nA.. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U. (wtf!)nnQ. What is the fibula?nA.. A small liennQ. What does ‘varicose’ mean?nA.. NearbynnQ. What is the most common form of birth control?nA.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.(That would work)nnQ. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’nA.. The caesarean section is a district in RomennQ. What is a seizure?nA.. A Roman Emperor.(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)nnQ. What is a terminal illness?nA.. When you are sick at the airport.(Irrefutable)nnQ. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?nA.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight(brilliant)nnAND THE BEST IS LAST::: nnQ. What is a turbine?nn
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nnA.. Something an Arab or Shriek wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.(Now we’re getting somewhere)nn
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This Giant Dog Approaches A Little Girl’s Sickbed,nAnd The Straps On His Back Reveal Why He’s Theren
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Arizona man invents device to stop high-speed pursuit suspectsn
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n(Editor’s Note: $500.00 in small bills or this goes to the internet for the world to see!)
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nRest In Peace Officer DeJon Packer #4940
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n(Editor’s Note: $500.00 in small bills or this goes to the internet for the world to see!)
LRPyle#1621n
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