In 1933, a beautiful, young Austrian woman took off her clothes for a movie director. She ran through the woods, naked. She swam in a lake, naked. Pushing well beyond the social norms of the period. The most popular movie in 1933 was King Kong. But everyone in Hollywood was talking about that scandalous movie with the gorgeous, young Austrian woman.
Funny Joke: 👱♀️ Barbie
One day a father gets out of work, and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday…
He dashes over to a toy shop and asks the salesperson, “How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?”
The salesperson replies, “Well, that depends. Which one do you mean Sir?… ”
“We have Work Out Barbie for $19, Shopping Barbie for $19, Beach Barbie for $19, Disco Barbie for $19… ”
“Ballerina Barbie for $19, and Divorced Barbie for $199.”
The amazed father asks, “How much?… ”
“Why is the divorced Barbie $199 and the others only $19?”
The annoyed salesperson sighs and answers, “Sir, the other Barbies only come with one outfit… ”
“On the other hand, Divorced Barbie comes with… ”
“Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Computer and one of Ken’s best friends.”
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The number one reason why you should never ask this question on a date.
Public service announcement – the above meme is actually true…
The Stella AwardsIt’s time again for the annual ” Stella Awards”! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald’s in New Mexico, where she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right?
That’s right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratch-er handy.
Here are the Stellas for this year:
- SEVENTH PLACE
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
Start scratching!
·SIXTH PLACE *
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps.
Scratch some more…
· FIFTH PLACE *
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn’t re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count ’em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner’s insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish Keep scratching. There are more…
Double hand scratching after this one.
· FOURTH PLACE *
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella’s when he was - *SECOND PLACE*
Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000….oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure
Ok. Here we go!!
· FIRST PLACE *
This year’s runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually leave the driver’s seat while the cruise control was set The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down?
$1,750,000.
PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.
If you think the USA court system is out of control, be sure to pass this one on.
I choked on a carrot this morning, and all I could think of was, “I’ll bet a doughnut wouldn’t have done this to me.”
Nothing spoils a good story more than the arrival of an eyewitness. (Mark Twain)
It only takes one slow-walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that I’m a nice person.
It’s fine to eat a test grape in the produce section, but you take one bite of rotisserie chicken and it’s all, “Sir, you need to leave!”
One thing no one ever talks about, when it comes to being an older adult, is how much time we devote to keeping a cardboard box because it is, you know, a really good box.
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s seven years in a row, now.
If you dropped something when you were younger, you just picked it up. When you’re older and you drop something, you stare at it for just a bit contemplating if you actually need it anymore.
I like to make lists. I also like to leave them lying on the kitchen counter, and then guess what’s on the list when I am at the store.
Ask your doctor if a drug with 32 pages of side effects is bad for you
I love bacon. Sometimes I eat it twice a day. It takes my mind off the terrible chest pains I keep getting.
As I watch this generation try to rewrite history, one thing I am sure of is that it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.
Driver: “What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?” Officer, “Keep it. When you collect four of them, you get a bicycle.”
I asked a supermarket employee where they kept the canned peaches. He said, “I’ll see,” & walked away. I asked another & he also said, “I’ll see,” & walked away. In the end, I gave up & found them myself, in Aisle C.
I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two (2) places. He told me to stop going to those places.
I put our scale in the bathroom corner & that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.
When I was a kid, I used to watch the ‘Wizard of Oz’ & wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got Facebook.
Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror & think, “That can’t be accurate!”
Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation with “Maybe next time” isn’t the correct response.
A guy walks into a lumberyard & asks for some 2x4s. The clerk asks, “How long do you need them?” The guy answers, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.”
I just burned 1,200 calories. I forgot the pizza in the oven.
I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart when they’ve never even seen one of his paintings.
Never trust an electrician with no eyebrows.
So my neighbor knocked on my front door at 3 a.m. 3AM!!! Luckily I was already up playing the bagpipes.
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch an episode of “The Hoarders,” and think, “Wow! My house looks great.”
Obvious Questions !!!!
Would be funny if it wasn’t so true
WHY ISN’T THIS OBVIOUS?
Why is it that so many people were more outraged about Britney Griner stuck in Russia than they were about Amer icans stranded in Afghanistan?
* How is it that the government can’t control gasoline prices, but the weather is something they can fix?
* Are we churning out a generation of poorly educated people with no skill, no ambition, no guidance, and no realistic expectation of what it means to go to work? -Mike Rowe
* If kids knew what they wanted to be at age eight, the world would be filled with cowboys and princesses. I wanted to be a pirate. Thank goodness nobody took me seriously and scheduled me for eye removal and peg
leg surgery. -Bill Maher
* Why were we told to lower our AC usage on hot days to prevent overwhelming the electric grid while simultaneously being told to trade in our gas cars for electric vehicles?
* Does it make sense to cut off oil, domestic or from allies, and buy it from an enemy who calls for your death?
* Are we living in a time where intelligent people are silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended?
* Is this a great description of America: Andy has left town and Barney is in charge? Otis is locked up for a drink, criminals run free
* Why is talking sexually in the workplace considered sexual harassment to adults… but talking about sexuality to children K-3 at school considered education?
* Who else had a “ministry of truth”? … Hitler… Goebbels… Stalin
* Eliminating the production of 500,000 American barrels of oil a day to buy 500,000 barrels a day from Venezuela is simply, …well, …stupid.
* If your electric car runs out of power on the interstate, do you walk to a charging station to get a bucket of electricity?
* Why are we running out of money for Social Security and Medicare but not for welfare, illegals and free college?
* I just got a full tank of gas for $22. Granted, it was for my lawn mower, but I’m trying to stay positive.
* There is a coin shortage. America is officially out of common cents.
* If an 18 year old isn’t mature enough to own a firearm, then maybe a 16 year old isn’t mature enough to vote, and a 5 year old not mature enough to change gender.
* Sign in Texas: “DON’T VOTE FOR WHAT YOU FLED!”
* Nobody called it “Toxic Masculinity” when we were saving the world.
* Mice die in mouse traps because they do not understand why the cheese is free. Just like socialism.
* The most powerful governments on earth can’t stop a virus from spreading… but they say they can change the earth’s temperature if you pay more taxes.
* Want to stop drunk drivers from killing sober drivers? Ban sober drivers from driving. That’s how gun control works. Isn’t that how COVID lockdowns worked?
* If you don’t want to stand for Our National Anthem, perhaps you should give your legs to a veteran who lost his. That way a real man can stand in your place.
* If socialism is so good and capitalism is so bad… then why aren’t the caravans heading to Venezuela?
History is not there for us to like or dislike, to agree or disagree; the past is what it was. It is there for us to learn from. And if it offends
you, even better- -because then you are less likely to repeat it. It is not anyone’s to erase; it belongs to all of us.
* I saw a movie where only the police and military had guns; it was called Schindler’s List.
HISTORY. LEARN FROM IT. DON’T REPEAT IT.
In 1964, Gomer Pyle Performed “The Impossible Dream” For a Comedy, Leaving The Entire Crew Jaw-Dropped,WATCH HERE
VIEW COMPLETE ARTICLE HERE
It’s Hedley…
FRANK?