10 Warning Signs You’re A Pathetic Beta Malen

Alright, SIMPS! These days, it’s getting harder and harder to find any real men. Not guys who are “in touch with their feelings” or “enjoy a good pair of barefoot wingtip shoes” — we’re talking real-deal, manly men. If you want to be a testosterone-filled HIGH-VALUE bro, you need to keep a sharp eye out for any signs of wussiness and purge them from your body immediately.

The Babylon Bee has put together this list of warning signs that you are a PATHETIC BETA.

1. 1. Ordering a filet instead of the 42-oz. tomahawk: “Filet” is a French word. A tomahawk is a type of axe. Eat a real steak, bro.

1. 1. You once thought about petting a cat: Really? A cat? C’mon. SOFT.

1. 1. You open the door for a lady: Weaksauce, bro! Man up and slam it in her face.

1. 1. You wear an oven mitt to take hot things out of the oven: Real men aren’t afraid to melt their fingerprints off.

1. 1. You asked for help while bench-pressing 225: Might as well join the SPIN class, woman.

1. 1. Somebody taking your picture said “Say cheese!” and you said “Cheese!”: Do you always just do whatever anyone tells you? You look like a doofus, Steve.

1. 1. You emitted a sound of pain the last time someone stabbed you: Show some pain tolerance, man. What are you, a woman? So lame.

1. 1. You use a lighter to start a fire: You’ve abandoned thousands of years of manly, old-school fire-starting tradition.

1. 1. You kissed a girl who has kissed another man before you met; therefore, you kissed a dude: How’s it feel, dude-kisser?

1. 1. You cried at any point in your life other than the end of Gladiator: We will also accept Saving Private Ryan or Master & Commander.

If you see yourself anywhere in the list above, you better start sweating and producing some testosterone before it’s too late, sweetheart.

 

 As he starts to campaign, he announced his ‘free speech’ agenda.  Among the highlights – he will change Section 230, which currently excuses social media from liability and makes them into news ‘platforms’, not ‘news purveyors ‘.  Government employees would be barred from becoming staff on social media platforms for a seven year ‘cooling off’ period after leaving office, and Trump would create a ‘digital bill of rights’ to protect citizens.  Of course the left hates all of that.  Forty democrats actually voted to ban Trump from ever holding office again.  That is illegal, but since when has that bothered democrats?

THIS DAY IN HISTORYn

Learn Our History Today: On May 11, 1943, during World War II, an Allied force made up almost entirely of Americans began an operation to retake the Island of Attu in the Aleutian Island chain (a part of Alaska), which had been captured by Japanese forces earlier in April 1942. Unfortunately, the Allies were plagued by problems. The Allies did not have nearly enough landing craft to properly land all their troops and equipment. In addition, the equipment that was available struggled to operate properly due to the bitter cold. There was also a shortage of suitable beaches where the landings could take place, and this lack of beaches did not help whatsoever when it came to frostbite, which many soldiers incurred in the freezing weather. Supplies and assistance simply could not be delivered as needed and many suffered horribly as a result.

When it came to the fighting on Attu, the Japanese decided to dig in on the hills of the Island instead of contesting the landings, and accordingly the fighting became close and vicious as the Americans tried to push them out. At the end of the campaign, the last Japanese forces on the island launched one of the largest banzai charges of the entire war, resulting in brutal, furious hand-to-hand combat.  A total of 3,929 U.S. troops were lost taking Attu, with many being killed or wounded by the numerous Japanese booby traps placed throughout the island.  The Japanese lost over 2,850 men killed, almost their entire force. Only 29 Japanese soldiers were taken alive.

Also, on this day in U.S. history:

1858: Minnesota is admitted as 32nd state.

1910: Glacier National Park in Montana is formed.

1967: The U.S. hits 100,000,000 total phones connected

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark

n

Celebrating Intl Women’s Day

Lexophile” is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “to write with a broken pencil is pointless.” A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year’s winning submission is posted at the very end.

.. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate

... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months

.… When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

 The batteries were given out free of charge.

… A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

.. A will is a dead giveaway.

… With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

.. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

.. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

.. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

.. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

.. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.

.. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

This is crazy! 

 

  About 6 months ago, there was a news program on oil and one of The Forbes Bros. was the guest.  The host said to Forbes, “I am going to ask you a direct question and I would like a direct answer; how much oil does the U.S. Have in the ground?”

Forbes did not miss a beat, he said, “More than all the Middle East put Together.”

The U.S. Geological Service issued a report in April 2008 that only Scientists and oil men knew was coming, but man was it big.  It was a revised report (hadn’t been updated since 1995) on how much oil was in this area of the western 2/3 of North Dakota, western South Dakota, and Extreme eastern Montana.

Check THIS out:

The Bakken is the largest domestic oil discovery since Alaska’s Prudhoe Bay and has the potential to eliminate all American dependence on foreign oil. The Energy Information Administration (EIA) estimates it at 503 billion barrels. Even if just 10% of the oil is recoverable (5 Billion barrels), at $107 a barrel, we’re looking at a resource base worth more than $5.3 trillion.  “When I first briefed legislators on this, you could practically see their Jaws hit the floor. They had no idea.” says Terry Johnson, the Montana Legislature’s financial analyzer.  “This sizable find is now the highest-producing onshore oil field found in the past 56 years,” reports The Pittsburgh Post Gazette. It’s a formation known as the Williston Basin but is more commonly referred to as the ‘Bakken.’  It stretches from Northern Montana, through North Dakota and into Canada. For years, U.S. Oil exploration has been considered a dead end. Even the ‘Big Oil’ companies gave up searching for major oil wells decades ago. However, a recent technological breakthrough has opened up the Bakken’s Massive reserves, And, we now have access of up to 500 billion barrels. And because this is Light, sweet oil, those billions of barrels will cost Americans just $16 PER BARREL!!!!!  That’s enough crude to fully fuel the American economy for 2041 years Straight. And if THAT didn’t throw you on the floor, then this next one should – Because it’s from 2006 !!!!!! U.S. Oil Discovery – Largest Reserve in the World Stansberry Report Online – 4/20/2006.  Hidden 1,000 feet beneath the surface of the Rocky Mountains lies the Largest untapped oil reserve in the world.   It is more than 2 TRILLION barrels. On August 8, 2005 President Bush Mandated its extraction. In many recent years of high oil prices none has been extracted. With this mother lode of oil why are we still fighting over off-shore Drilling? They reported this stunning news:  We have more oil inside our borders, than all the other proven reserves on Earth.

 

Here are the official estimates: 8 times as much oil as Saudi Arabia 18 times as much oil as Iraq 21 times as much oil as Kuwait 22 times as much oil as Iran 500 times as much oil as Yemen And it’s all right here in the Western United States !!!!!!

 

HOW can this BE? HOW can we NOT BE extracting this? Because the Environmentalists and others have blocked all efforts to help America become Independent of foreign oil! Again, we are letting a small group of people Dictate our lives and our economy. WHY? James Bartis, lead researcher with the study says we’ve got more oil in this very compact area than the entire Middle East, more than 2 TRILLION barrels Untapped. That’s more than all the proven oil reserves of crude oil in the World today, reports The Denver Post. Don’t think ‘OPEC’ will drop its price even with this find? Think again!  It’s all about the competitive marketplace, it has to. Think OPEC just might be funding the environmentalists? Got your attention yet? Now, while you’re thinking about it, do this:

 

Pass this along. If you don’t take a little time to do this, then you should stifle yourself the next time you complain about gas prices, by doing NOTHING, you forfeit your right to complain.

 

Now I just wonder what would happen in this country if every one of you sent this to everyone in your address book.

 

By the way, this can be verified. Check it out at the link below !!!!!!

 

https://www.usgs.gov/news/national-news-release/usgs-releases-oil-and-gas-assessment-bakken-and-three-forks-formations

 

Note how seemingly? innocent? entries can be turned against us!

 

1. LONG – TERM PARKING Some people left their car in the long-term parking at the airport while away, and someone broke into the car. Using the information on the car’s registration in the glove compartment, they drove the car to the people’s home and robbed it. So I guess if we are going to leave the car in long-term parking, we should NOT leave the registration / insurance cards in it, nor your remote garage door opener. This gives us something to think about with all our new electronic technology.

2. GPS: Someone had their car broken into while they were at a football game. Their car was parked on the green which was adjacent to the football stadium and specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen from the car included a garage door remote control, some money and a GPS which had been prominently mounted on the dashboard. When the victims got home, they found that their house had been ransacked and just about everything worth anything had been stolen. The thieves had used the GPS to guide them to the house. They then used the garage remote control to open the garage door and gain entry to the house. The thieves knew the owners were at the football game, they knew what time the game was scheduled to finish and so they knew how much time they had to clean out the house. It would appear that they had brought a truck to empty the house of its contents. Something to consider if you have a GPS – don’t put your home address in it. Put a nearby address (like a store or gas station) so you can still find your way home if you need to, but no one else would know where you live if your GPS were stolen.

3. CELL PHONES: I never thought of this! This lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her cell phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet, etc., was stolen. Twenty minutes later when she called her hubby, from a pay phone telling him what had happened, hubby says, “I received your text asking about our Pin number and I’ve replied a little while ago.” When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to text “hubby” in the contact list and got hold of the pin number. Within 20 minutes they had withdrawn all the money from their bank account.

4. PURSE IN THE GROCERY CART SCAM: A lady went grocery-shopping at a local mall and left her purse sitting in the children’s seat of the cart while she reached something off a shelf (Wait until you read the WHOLE story!) Her wallet was stolen, and she reported it to the store personnel. After returning home, she received a phone call from the Mall Security to say that they had her wallet and that although there was no money in it, it did still hold her personal papers. She immediately went to pick up her wallet, only to be told by Mall Security that they had not called her. By the time she returned home again, her house had been broken into and burglarized. The thieves knew that by calling and saying they were Mall Security, they could lure her out of her house long enough for them to burglarize it. Moral lesson:

A. Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list. Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mum, etc.

B. And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back.

C. Also, when you’re being texted by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don’t reach them, be very careful about going places to meet “family and friends” who text you.

* PLEASE PASS THIS ON

Even if this does not pertain to you, please let your family and friends know so they don’t get caught in a scam…

 

YIKES! (33 pics … road in mountains in Columbia)

TRAMPOLINDELAMUERTEHighway